Why 1:1 Coaching?

Sometimes the demands and responsibilities of life get to be too challenging and the skills people need are not the skills that they have. Even when someone "should" be able to meet expectations, they somehow fall short - repeatedly. For people with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, executive function skill deficits and other complex learning profiles, their brains are not wired to respond to these expectations in the same way that neurotypical brains are. There is a neurobiological and chemical basis for their inability to meet expectations that we can't see but is real. Parents, teachers, doctors, therapists, and others try to help with medication, behavioral management techniques like rewards and consequences, reminders, tutors, therapy, and so forth, but these typically don't work.

Unfortunately, there are times when this approach alone doesn't work. No matter how much effort goes in to helping, nothing changes. And in fact, instead of helping, things actually get worse. Anger, depression, arguments, defensiveness, lying, avoidance, shutting down, and other challenging and sometimes destructive behaviors and emotions become the norm. If this sounds familiar, coaching can help.

The truth is, that these behaviors and emotions won't be helped by traditional approaches like behavioral management techniques or therapy alone because the unmet expectations, the behaviors, and the emotions are not purely behaviorally or emotionally based; the person's actions are not just a matter of willpower, motivation or effort. As Dr. Thomas Brown says in The Disruptors, "it is a matter of the dynamics of the chemistry in the brain" and it requires intervention at the point of skills, not just emotional support and behavioral intervention and modification. The unmet expectations are most often due to lagging skills that are directly related to a person's invisible, brain-based disability such as ADHD, anxiety, dyslexia, etc.. The challenge is that these lagging skills can look like lack of motivation, laziness, lack of willpower or effort. They require 1:1 instruction patience, compassion, encouragement, accountability, practice, and repetition; and the older someone is, the harder it is to learn. This is how coaching helps! Coaching provides this skill-based support in a compassionate, curious, and encouraging way with the necessary accountability that fades over time as skills are acquired.

People think that because someone is smart and seems capable, that they "should" be able to do well; that they automatically have everything needed to be successful as long as they try; as long as they apply themselves. If they aren't successful, people wrongly assume they are lazy, unmotivated, not disciplined, or aren't trying hard enough. We try to help by imposing meaningful and significant consequences.

The reality, though, is that in most of these situations, people want to do well but they can't; they don't have the skills. They have the motivation; they don't want to endure the consequences but they have no choice because they don't know what to do differently. They are stuck.

The only way forward is a multimodal approach that at a minimum must include compassion, curiosity, targeted instruction, and accountability support in the lagging executive function skills. To be sure, medication, therapy, tutoring and other supports may also be needed, but without targeted instruction in executive function skills and the required accountability to implement them consistently, no incentive or consequence will result in any meaningful change. With 2TTS's compassionate curious coach approach, not only will such skills be learned, but success will be achieved because challenging behaviors will be replaced by renewed confidence, self-awareness, self-determination, self-advocacy and self-agency.

It is this transformation which ultimately leads to thriving and sharing one's gifts with the world!





Aside from her compassion and empathy, Courtney's coaching is informed by this Stepstool Model of Growth & Success and the 6 Pillars of CONNECTION, COMMUNICATION, CURIOSITY, TRANSPARENCY, ACCOUNTABILITY, AND EMPOWERMENT based on the work of well known professionals in the neurodiverse community: Ross Greene, Ph.D; Dan Siegel, M.D; Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D; Susan Baum, Ph.D, Beverly Trail, Ed.D; Russell Barkley, M.D.; Thomas Brown, M.D; Dr. Sharon Saline; Julie Skolnick, M.A., J.D,; Seth Perler; Deborah Reber; and more. She uses this basic framework, along with Ross Greene's motto of "Kids Do Well If They Can", and a number interventional strategies, tools, and techniques to individualize a whole-person, strengths-based plan that responds to each client's unique needs and situation.

The FIRST PHASE of coaching focuses on developing a solid foundation of connection, understanding, and trust. Courtney creates a safe space to be accepted, transparent, and authentic. She practices compassion, patience and curiosity in helping clients to reflect on the past and plan for and envision their future selves. She helps each client understand their brain-based invisible disability or disabilities and how those many times result in asynchronies and lagging skills which can quite frequently manifest as challenging behaviors, anxiety, and/or depression. Neither these behaviors, nor the anxiety, shame or depression change with behavior management approaches and techniques. Courtney helps her clients understand that their inability to meet the expectations of others or of themselves is not their fault, and is not a result of their lack of motivation, laziness, or effort; it is a result of not yet having the skills needed to meet the expectations. With this new understanding, clients can begin to peel away the layers of self-doubt, low confidence, anxiety and depression that can make progress, future visioning, and taking action even harder.

The SECOND PHASE of coaching is all about building new skills, developing internal motivation and putting those skills and motivation into action to work on the established goals, both short and long term. Coupled with the just right level of accountability and encouragement, this process leads to transformational change in self-awareness, self-advocacy, self-agency, and self-determination, all of which have a positive impact on the client's motivation, sense of accomplishment, confidence, and self-esteem. In this phase we celebrate the little and the big wins. In this phase effort, intention, reflection, and honesty are key to effective progress.

Over time, clients enter the FINAL PHASE of COACHING in which new habits, routines, and skills are built, leads to greater confidence, more success and ever increasing levels of independence and consistency in performance. This is the ultimate goal of coaching: for clients to BE EMPOWERED, TRANSFORMED, THRIVING, and LIVING THE LIFE THEY ENVISION and WANT!

Meet Coach Courtney Edman, MS, PT, CEIS

Courtney has been in your shoes. She is not only a coach but she is also the parent of a neurodiver gent young adult with ADHD, anxiety and significant lagging executive function skills. She knows what it takes to guide you and your child to a place of calm and connection while also giving you and your child the tools that will lead to understanding, acceptance, motivation, action, growth, and success. She skillfully combines her years of professional experience as a pediatric early intervention physical therapist and the executive director of a private home-based pulmonary physical therapy practice with her over 22 years of parenting 3 young adult children to bring you everything you want and need in a coach. No matter your child's age, stage, diagnosis, or challenging situation, she has the knowledge, resourcefulness, compassion, problem solving, advocacy, passion and communication skills to help you, your child, and your family.

Who Can Benefit from 1:1 Strengths-Based Coaching?

Elementary School Students all the way through PhD Candidates who have ADHD, Autism, Executive Function Skill Challenges, Anxiety, other learning disabilities,
or are simply Struggling with Focus, Organization, Effort, Consistency, Confidence, Self-Esteem, Self-Regulation, Goal-Directed Action, and Overwhelm

Kids of Any Age Who Have ADHD, Executive Function Skill Challenges, Behavioral Challenges, Anxiety, other learning disabilities, or are Autistic, Twice-Exceptional, or any combination of the above

Older High School Students Trying to Navigate the Transition from High School to College or College Students and/or Young Adults Living at Home who are Struggling with What it Takes to be Independent and Manage Young Adult Life and Responsibilities

Listen to What Others Who Have Benefited from Courtney's Knowledge, Compassion, Patience, and Expertise Have to Say About Her Coaching

"Courtney started with my 16-year-old daughter this Spring who struggles with depression, ADHD and ASD and had not done well with prior EF tutors. Courtney had her work cut out for her, as my daughter is not quick to trust adults or experts. She had become convinced that no tools will work for her. Courtney took just the right amount of time building a relationship with Sophia and in addressing Sophie's own goals. They have a great working relationship and have started building on that to organization and executive function skills. Courtney has helped me to step back and not be Sophie's constant reminder and this is helping her build the skills for independence and college." - Lauren

" Courtney is truly exceptional in coaching and offers so much support and guidance. When I was struggling with finding the right career path in college, she knew all the right questions to ask to help me focus on my strengths, interests, and goals. It was very clear that Courtney genuinely cared and she followed up with me several times. , Courtney's coaching played a huge part in helping me feel confident in my decision to make big changes to my career goals." - Madison S.

" I really need to hear this today. It’s been rough the past weekends but I turned it around today, looking at it from his perspective, and it changed the course. Thank you Courtney for the constant encouragement." Tracey

"Courtney Edman led the best parent group! Her work as a parent coach and facilitator helped me with my communication style with my son who struggles with ADHD and Executive Functioning. Thanks to her insight, I was able to effectively communicate with my son and he actually opened up to me in a way that he never had before! ." - Elizabeth

"As a parent of two differently wired kids, doing the best I can to support and nurture my kids can be challenging, lonely and frustrating (even though they also bring joy and laughter!). Courtney has been a tremendous help to provide concrete and tactical ways to create structure and scaffolding strategies for the kids. There are so many resources out there but she helps to wade through the noise to provide specific, relevant resources for me (books, podcasts, camps, etc.). I have seen a noticeable improvement in my son's confidence and behavior since I started working with Courtney. My son also looks forward to talking to her and sharing what is going on with him" - Renee

"Courtney Edman your love and support shines through your words!" - Kim

"Thank you soo much for this follow up message. I am printing it out and will reread it when I find myself feeling exasperated and need to exude compassion once again. Your personal parental experience with this is invaluable. You truly understand the challenges. The subsequent empathy and the skills that you have acquired through it all and are now passing to other parents like myself are so valuable. Thank you." - T.M.

"I just got the call you got. He called you first then called me with all his good news of finals and grades. He's SO happy and feels so good about everything! Thank you SO much!" - L.D

Ready to Get Started?

Contact Courtney at courtneyedman@2tametheshame.com

or SCHEDULE A CALL to discuss how compassionate curious coaching can help you get on the transformational path to THRIVING!